Itvara

“We made it! Thank God we found a seat,” said the boy.

“Yes! It is going to take us forty minutes,” grinned the girl.

A guy and a girl in their late twenties had taken a a seat in front of me. I was coming back from the Berlin Central Station with my friend. We were both dead tired since we were coming back from Prague. My friend was visiting me from India, and had completed a tight schedule of visiting Prague and Vienna over long weekend.

I was surprised to hear the guy speaking English. One of the few things I miss in Berlin is eavesdropping to an interesting conversation. It is always interesting to hear stories when two people are journeying from one place to another. More often than not the conversations are not planned, and I get to hear a world of ideas which are mostly a chaotic mess.

“So, how come you called me today? It is one month after the party,” said the girl.

“Yeah! That night in the party was amazing. I thought I screwed up by not calling you,” said the guy.

I looked at my friend and smiled. We both knew it was a date or maybe a date in progress. My friend took out her earphones and plugged them in her ears while I grinned at her. She knew I was not letting go of this conversation. She whispered, “Don’t be creepy.”

“I was not going to come. But I thought to myself I should give you a chance. I have another date tomorrow,” she said a little proudly. The girl has thick curly hair, and I could somehow see her side profile. She looked like she was mixed race. She had soft dark skin with hint of olive which made her skin glow naturally. She had big eyes, full lips and well-shaped eyebrows. She knew she was beautiful and yet not pretentious.

I looked at the guy. He was a white male with blonde hair with top bun. He was clean shaven with glasses. He had V-shaped jawline and there were two strands of hair carefully falling from his forehead. I smiled because I could establish, they were equal in matters of beauty and physical attraction.

“So, what have you been up to?” asked the guy meekly.

“I have three clients this month I am helping to relocate. It has been going smooth. But getting new work for mural paintings has been slow. There are so many artists. It has been tough,” said the girl and gave a small sigh.

“Well, I guess it will be tough, but we all have to hang on,” smiled the guy. The girl smiled too. There it was – the first spark. The first time when anyone of us would have a hope a something wonderful, that one more dream of connection.

“Thanks! Well, I got a small job in one of the restaurant corners. It is not big, but money was good enough. Do you want to see it?” asked the girl.

“Of course!”

She took out her mobile and I couldn’t see the picture as they were both leaning with their heads close to each other.

“Wow! It is wonderful!” said the guy with the most earnest exclamation.

The girl laughed.

“So how did your meeting go with your manager. Did you manage to convince him to give you the new project?” asked the girl.

The guy touched his glasses and smiled. “Yes, I did! I will be leading the full analytics project for the supply chain,” said the guy.

“You know it is funny that we remember so much of the conversation that night. I was five drinks down”, continued the guy.

“Yeah, I guess it is always interesting when someone is listening to you so keenly and we were not even trying. To be honest I had shitty dates last few months. When you are meeting someone there is a pressure of meaningful conversation, tapping into common interest, reading between the lines and finally when you finally make a headway, you end up getting dick pics,” said the girl-.

He snorted.

“I am serious!” said the girl exasperated. “I was in half expecting you to send me something and was ready to be disgusted.”

The guy nodded. “No, I wouldn’t do something like that to you of all the people. To someone I had one of the best arguments and…” The guy stopped.

“And what?” asked the girl eagerly.

“To a girl who whose intelligence meets her face.”

‘What a line!’ I thought. I could see the cheeks of the girl coloring.

“Tell me honestly then. Why didn’t you call or text me?” asked the girl.

The guy looked down and sighed.

“Because that night my mind was messed up. My ex-girlfriend lives in Dusseldorf, and we never spoke about exclusivity. I assumed sooner or later we will become exclusive, or we are already exclusive, and I never really dated someone while I was with her. But that day before the party, my girlfriend told me she was getting engaged.”

“Oh!” said the girl. I could see her color fading and eyebrows tensing.

“Yeah! Guess we were not the best communicative kinds. To be fair we never spoke much where we stood in our relationship. It was all assumed from my end. And then I had one of the best nights of my life which made me think it was just whirlwind of emotions, so I decided on having few rebounds.”

I could see the girl now tensed and I was also extremely disappointed. My friend took out her earphones and hissed in my ear in Hindi so that no one else understood, “Dude! Why are you scowling and staring at that guy creepily?”

I just shushed her and took out my mobile and pretended to read something to make sure no one else could see my face.

“The last girl I slept was one week ago and I kept thinking about the stories of your dog and your cat. I could see them on your lap, playing with you while you tried concentrating on the oil painting you have been working on.”

The girls face did not relax. She seemed unsure.

“By the time the realization came that I should have called you sooner, I knew it was a bit late.  I know sex is the easiest thing in this big and crazy city, but a four hour conversation is not. I hoped you would meet me, knowing that I am late,” said the guy. I could see in his face that he knew he ruined it, but still had a small glimmer of hope. 

The girl was quiet for several minutes and was looking outside the window. I could see a train of thoughts in her eyes from her reflection on the window.

“The place we are going serves one of the best Ukrainian Pierogi. I remember you wanted to go to a place with authentic Ukrainian cuisine.”

The guy beamed and I almost thought he was going to hug him, but he got up suddenly.

“It is our stop!”

The girl got up too. They looked at each other for a moment without smiling or frowning. They just looked through each other and looked within each other at the same time.  His hands finally went around her waist, and they got down together.

I kept staring at them not caring about any onlookers.

I asked my friend to take off her earphones.

“Dating is still messy these days?” I asked her. She was still single, and it had been a while since she had been in a steady relationship.

“It always has been, the form changes, but it has always been a journey.”

“Do you not get annoyed or frustrated,” I asked.

“No. I get exhausted.”

It struck me – The guy and the girl were both exhausted.  Between the tinder dates and sex, sex and conversations, expectations and reality, aspirations and disappointments, labels and obscurity, liking and passion, sexuality and gender one small aspect everyone is scared to acknowledge. The simple word called love.

I looked at my friend.

“What would you say about love? Is that exhausting?”

She looked up for few seconds and said, “Underneath all the words, emojis and jargons everyone seeks it. It has become like a rare diamond on display. We can see it, almost touch it but never seek it. We make do with all the other jewels which are close to love. Why do you ask? Do you think that guy and girl are in love?”

“I think so. I do not know if they know, but I hope they do. They were ineffable and connection like this is rare.”

My friend gave me a side hug and as I looked at her and I really hoped she found it too or anyone consumed with weariness.

I hope that every heart’s desire uncomplicates, that every wish untangles, that every regret transposes and every hurt overturns